A Demon's Grace
by StarSpangledBucky
Summary: Destiel fan fiction Contains a brief spoiler on Season 9 M for reasons Longer summary in the next chapter
1. Longer Summary

_"Well guess what...he's dead too."_

It was all about saving him, saving Dean. Yet Castiel had failed to do so. Unaware that he is alive, Sam and Castiel join together to investigate cases, while doing sideline work on dealing with Metatron. When Dean returns, the last thing they both expected was that he would be something that they fought against...a demon. There is no witty, charming Dean Winchester anymore, there is only an empty void of power. For Castiel it is not what he wants, he wants the real Dean back, HIS Dean. Metatron was right, he is in love...with humanity, and in Castiel's terms, humanity is Dean Winchester and nothing else.

Can Dean be saved from the one thing he didn't want to become?

Time is slowly ticking away, and there is only so much Castiel can bear. Will he save this tainted soul? Will he confess his love?

_"Open your eyes Dean, see what I see, feel what I feel."_

* * *

**New Destiel fan fiction because after season 9 it just had to be done. **

**Be warned it will contain spoilers to season 9 for those who haven't gotten there yet or haven't seen the season finale. Believe me you will god damn cry. **

**So this fan fiction is set after the season 9 finale, the prologue will basically be the little snippet of what happened on the finale but not every single little detail obviously. It will be kept short. Other than that, the entire story line will be my idea, it isn't exactly what I think will happen in season 10 it's pretty much just pure Destiel and how much Castiel is affected by the change in Dean, as well as Sam but the whole fic surrounds itself around Castiel and Dean's bond.**

**I must say that Castiel will be a bit OOC (Out of character) when he has emotional flashbacks he will get very emotionally broken.**

**R for obvious reasons, likes of the heavy smut and violence as well as the emotional flashbacks that Castiel will have.**

**Contains: Angst, Fluff, Heavy Smut, Violence, Emotional Flashbacks**


	2. Prologue - The Road So Far

He thought he had him, he thought he could end this war. Dean had everything planned out for Metatron, especially his death. He'd knocked Sam out for a while because it was only his problem to deal with. The Mark of Cain was changing him, changing him into something that he never thought he'd be. Dean stood in the warehouse, facing the stupid ass son of a bitch who cast out all the angels and screwed around with everyone else. He knew full well that it wasn't going to be easy, but he believed the First Blade would give him the power. How wrong he was about that. Metatron reacted quickly upon Dean's attack, sending him hurtling to the nearby wall, the First Blade falling from his grip. The archangel could only grin as he stared at the oldest Winchester before him. He had plans for him, and it wasn't exactly the nicest one either.

It was one where he was sure that not only Dean would suffer, but Castiel and Sam also. Dean groaned as he tried to quickly regain his composure and get back to the First Blade. He wouldn't go down without a fight. The valiant hunter rose to his feet as he took another swipe at Metatron, but yet again he was thrown down, his body smashed against the brick wall again. Metatron took a cautious step forward before kicking the First Blade from Dean's hand, kicking the young hunter square in the face. His foot brutally pressed on Dean's wrist which made a small cracking noise as he yelled out in pain through clenched teeth. Metatron could only smirk with what looked like pride and victory, like the smug bastard that he was.

"So, you took Abaddon's scalp then you figured you'd take on little old nebbish me. What could go wrong? You're powered by the bone of a jackass and it is just awesome! Right?" Metatron spoke, tilting his head to the side.

Dean stared in rage at the angel before him, his eyes looked dark and full of bloodthirst. He wanted to end this now, to end Metatron, he had to get his chance.

"Here's a tip, next time, try to be powered by the word of God," Metatron sneered, kicking Dean in the face again.

The angel grinned wickedly as he approached Dean, his hands resting on either side of his face before he took a swing at him. Punches were thrown one after the other, Dean letting out grunts from the force of the punches, bloody beginning to smear on his face. His entire face was numb and he felt like nothing was going to save him now. Yet, if he could just get the First Blade over to himself, he could get Metatron right where he wants him.

Meanwhile, Sam quickly descended the stairs down to the warehouse, his eyes scanning around as he saw a group of Metatron's protectors approaching. He pulled his gun from his waist, pointing it directly at them as they cowered in fear. Sam's eyes were frantic as his chest heaved, his hands gripped tightly to the gun. He yelled orders at them, asking them to tell him where Metatron was, he had to get to him and also get to Dean. While this was happening, Castiel was searching for the angel tablet in Metatron's office, he'd questioned several of Metatron's workers, neither were willing to talk. He had to find it to break the connection, and fast.

Dean stared to the side as he caught sight of the First Blade, now was his chance. He lifted his hand shakily as he tried to force it over to himself, like he did with Abaddon. The blade moved slightly as Dean gritted his teeth, staring at it harder, hoping for it to come to him. Just at that moment, the First Blade slipped into Dean's hand as he grasped it tightly. Sam appeared from around the corner, his eyes fixing on Dean, only to see Metatron plunge at angel blade into Dean, digging right into his chest. Dean gasps out, not only in pain, but in defeat. His eyes were lost, empty and...dying. Sam stared in shock, his heart pounding in his chest as he began to feel numb. Metatron twisted the blade as Dean continued to gasp and shakily breath. The angel looked at him with a proud smile, he knew he had defeated Dean and won, at least that's what he thought.

"NO!" Sam roared, his voice echoing in the room.

The older Winchester looked to Sam, a blank expression on his face. But mostly that of guilt, he knows he has lost. Dean collapsed on his side once Metatron had removed the blade, and in that time Castiel had found the angel tablet, dropping it to the floor as it broke into shards. Sam ran straight for Dean as Metatron stood back, that smug grin still plastered on his face as Sam picked Dean up and held his face in his hands.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey," he whispered.

Suddenly, the warehouse began to shake, causing Sam, as well as Metatron to look up. Sam stood quickly as he went to attack Metatron, only to have the angel disappear, his anger boiling over. He had to help Dean and that was all he cared about at the moment.

* * *

Metatron arrived back in his office, facing Castiel who sat in the angel's seat. He congratulated the courageous angel on breaking the connection, making mention of Gadreel. However, Castiel informed him of Gadreel's death, his eyes filled with anger. Metatron showed no remorse, nor did he seem to care, he had only used Gadreel, there was no spot for him in Heaven.

"Ah, so Gadreel bites the dust," he spoke fondly. "And the angel tablet, arguably the most powerful instrument in the history of the universe...is in pieces again and for what? Oh, that's right...to save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right? Well guess what? He's dead, too." he whispered softly.

Castiel turned his head as he stared at Metatron intensely, before averting his gaze quickly. Castiel looked back at Metatron, his eyes speaking better than words. First, they appeared to be filled with confusion on hearing of Dean's death. How could he be dead? Then, it was overthrown with sadness, like he had failed Dean. He had failed Dean. He hadn't saved him. Castiel felt more emotions than he ever had before.

* * *

Back at the warehouse, Dean was now resting against the wall, his breathing laboured. Sam was panicking and only hoping that he could get Dean out of there. He wasn't going to let Metatron win this. He hoped that Castiel had broken the angel tablet and was now dealing with Metatron. Sam pushed the thought of the angel to the back of his mind as he focused back on Dean, searching for something to stop the bleeding.

"Sammy, you gotta get out of here before he comes back," he rasped, through the blood pouring from his mouth.

"Shh, shut up, shut up. Just set your hand here, alright?" as he put a cloth to Dean's chest.

Dean groaned in agony as he put pressure on the wound, his hand becoming stained in blood.

"We'll stop the bleeding, we-we'll get you a doctor or I'll find a spell, you're gonna be okay," Sam reassured his older brother.

"Listen to me, it's better this way," Dean wavered, staring at Sam.

"What?" Sam gasped out.

"The mark...it's making me into something I don't wanna' be," Dean answered wearily.

"Don't worry about the mark. We'll figure out the mark later, just hold on okay," Sam replied.

The younger Winchester gently helped Dean up, putting his arm around his brother's waist as they started to retreat from the warehouse. Dean still held the cloth firmly to his chest but he could feel his heartbeat dropping. He knew his life was on the brink, no matter how hard Sam tried, he knew that he wasn't going to make it out alive.

"What happened to you being okay with this?" Dean questioned.

"I lied," Sam answered, holding onto Dean tighter.

"Ain't that a bitch," his brother choked out.

* * *

At Metatron's office, the angel stared at Castiel, a smirk still on his face as he moved closer. He was going to try and get into Castiel's head, pinpointing his weakness.

"You never learned how to tell a good story," he spoke, pulling out the blade, which was stained with Dean's blood.

Castiel glared at Metatron as he lent forward, his eyes dark and full of hatred.

"But you did," he growled, turning to the voice recording radio.

Metatron's eyes widened as he stepped back, a stunned look crossing his face. Several angels came into the room, immediately grabbing Metatron by the arms, restraining him. Castiel uncuffed himself from the chair as he grabbed the angel blade from Metatron's hand and pointed it towards the angel. His eyes were livid and he could have killed Metatron right there if he wanted to. However, Castiel decided against it, as later on they would need Metatron for information.

* * *

"Sam, hold up...hold up," Dean spoke, as he stopped in his tracks and lent against something. "I gotta say something," he added, his eyes glazed over, breathing laboured.

Sam held Dean up to support him as he stared into his brother's eyes. He could see how weak Dean was becoming, it wouldn't be long before he bled out. The younger Winchester wanted to get moving, he was panicking beyond what he ever had before.

"What?" he replied softly.

Dean's hand gripped on Sam's jacket, a few tears brimming in both their eyes as they continued to stare.

"I'm proud of us," he rasped, resting his hand on Sam's cheek.

By then Sam's tears were falling down his cheeks, his chest heaving as he choked them back. He and Dean had been torn apart by their differences, and now, Sam didn't know what to do. The thought of losing Dean now, scared the hell out of him, he didn't want that. Not now, not ever in fact. Those words Dean said hit him like a brick, his eyes were puffy and his sobs were becoming a little louder. Dean could fell himself slipping away, his body couldn't handle it anymore, his hand dropped from his chest as he stared at Sam one last time. His body collapsed against Sam, causing him to push Dean back up.

"No, no, hey, hey...hey, hey, wake up buddy. Hey," Sam pleaded.

Sam stared in horror when he held Dean's face in his hands and couldn't see any life in him at all. There was no more shallow breathing, no more open eyes. Dean was gone, defeated and left in the hands of his sobbing brother.

"Dean?" he questioned, with a choke. "Dean!" he cried out.

The younger Winchester began to sob loudly as he rested Dean against him, his head resting on his shoulder. All he could do was weep and grieve over what had happened. Loss overwhelmed him and he cursed every name under the sun. He'd lost the one person that mattered the most and he couldn't do anything. It was over...

* * *

Crowley stood by the doorway in Dean's room, resting his eyes upon his still corpse. Sam had brought Dean back to the bunker, saying not a word. He was through in the main room, drinking his sorrows away with liquor, his emotions changing over and over. He had however tried to summon Crowley, in hopes of having a way to bring Dean back, yet the demon decided he would pay Dean a visit instead. He stepped down into the room, before taking a seat in the chair, his eyes slightly glassy. It looked like he was getting rather emotional, yet he was however hiding something.

"Your brother, bless his soul is summoning me as I speak. Make a deal. Bring you back. It's exactly what I was talking about wasn't it? It's all become so... expected. You have to believe me, when I suggested you take on the Mark of Cain I didn't know this was going to happen. Not really. I mean I might not have told you the entire truth. But I never lied, I never lied Dean. That's important. It's fundamental. But, there is one story about Cain that I might have forgotten to tell you. Apparently he too was willing to accept death rather than becoming the killer the Mark wanted him to be. So he took his own life with the Blade. He died. Except as rumor has it, the Mark never quite let go. You can understand why I never spoke of this. Why set hearts aflutter with mere speculation? It wasn't until you summoned me, no it wasn't truly till you left the cheeseburger uneaten," Crowley spoke, setting the First Blade into Dean's hand as he brought it up to his chest. "And I began to let myself believe, maybe miracles do come true. Listen to me Dean Winchester, what you're feeling right now is not death, it's life. A new kind of life. Open your eyes Dean. See what I see. Feel what I feel. Let's go take a howl at that moon,"

The room fell silent, Crowley's watchful eyes were stuck on Dean. The hunter's eyelids twitched suddenly, a small grin growing on Crowley's face. Then, very quickly, Dean's eyes snapped open. They were black as charcoal, a dark abyss, the eyes of a monster that Dean and Sam hunted. Dean, the once valiant hunter, was now a demon...and extremely powerful to say the least. A new lease on life has been bestowed upon him. Yet how long will it be before it takes affect on those around him?

_"Some kind of monster. The monster lives."_

* * *

**A/N: Hope you enjoy. **


	3. Chapter 1 - Turn The Page

_"DEAN!"_

"No!" Sam yelled, sitting bolt upright in bed, sweat dripping down his face.

His chest heaved as he looked around in the dark, his laboured breathing being the only audible sound. He groaned as he swung his legs over the bed and pushed himself up. The younger Winchester stumbled to the light switch, flicking it on as the light blinded him slightly. His eyes adjusted quickly as he went over to his bag and pulled out some clean clothes, peeling off his other ones and slipping the new ones on quickly. It had been about six months since Dean had died and Sam still wasn't coping.

Not only that, his mind was still clogged with confusion after the mysterious disappearance of Dean's body. Sam had given up on summoning Crowley and couldn't think straight, making it impossible for him to find anything that could bring his brother back. With that, he decided to give Dean a proper burial, yet when he went to retrieve his body, it was gone. Sam panicked and didn't sleep for a while. But he soon gave up on that as well. Yet now it was bothering him again and Sam decided that he would try and bring Castiel in for help.

_"If you need me Sam, summon me, or call. I am here for you," _

Castiel's words swirled around in his head as Sam made his way out of his room and walked into the main room of the bunker where all the research took place. Sam felt alone in the bunker, there was no more Kevin, no more Castiel and now no more Dean. It was just Sam, and only Sam. He wasted a few nights grieving about Dean, downing as much alcohol as he could, to the point where he didn't even make it to bed.

He either passed out on the floor or fell asleep in one of the chairs. Now that his grieving had settled slightly, he was able to focus on more things. Sam let out a loud sigh as he sat down at the table and pulled his phone from his pocket. He dialed the number he had for Castiel and out it on speaker, placing it on the table.

"Sam?" a voice answered.

"Cas, hey. How you doin'?" Sam questioned.

"Very well, and you?" the angel replied.

Sam wasn't so convinced on Castiel's answer, he knew how much Dean meant to him, even if he didn't show it often.

"I'm doing okay, listen, I need your help," he mused.

"Anything," Castiel replied.

"Dean's body went missing a few months ago when I went to give him a proper burial. It bothered me for a while, then I gave up on finding out. But now, well, it's bothering me a lot," Sam explained.

There was a long moment of silence before Sam heard some chatter in the background.

"Sam I will be there presently," Castiel spoke.

"No, Cas I'll come and find you," Sam replied, standing up from his seat, grabbing his phone too.

He frowned when he heard the dial tone but shrugged it off as he grabbed the keys to the Impala and also his jacket, before rushing up the stairs to the main door. Sam yanked the door open, only to be greeted by bright blue eyes, black messy hair and a familiar trench coat.

"Hello Sam," Castiel issued, a small sympathetic smile on his face.

"I said I would come and find you, didn't you hear me?" Sam huffed, in annoyance.

"No," Castiel answered. "May I come in?" he asked.

"Sure," Sam replied, stepping to the side.

The angel strode inside before shutting the heavy door behind him. his eyes locked on Sam.

"You look well Sam," he commented.

"Yeah, thanks," Sam mumbled.

Castiel opened his arms in a friendly gesture and Sam accepted the warm, comforting embrace from his friend. He hadn't exactly had one in a while, and just by receiving one from Castiel, Sam felt a little better.

"So, were there no traces of anything that may have taken Dean's body?" the angel questioned, curiously.

"No, I mean, it's strange. There's nothing to indicate a break in either," Sam replied, as he and Castiel descended the stairs to the main room again.

"Yes that's very strange," Castiel hummed, looking down at his feet for a moment.

Once they had reached the final step, the pair looked ahead of them, suddenly freezing in their spots. Sitting in one of the chairs, with his feet propped up on the table, was Dean. Aside from that, he had that signature smirk on his face as he gave a little wave. Something else was different, his eyes were black like darkness, a hollow and bottomless abyss.

"Didn't think you could get rid of me that easy did ya'?" he questioned, his eyes flicking back to his natural green apple colour.

"Dean?" Sam choked out, his eyes welling up with months of trapped tears.

Castiel stood completely stunned, his brain almost imploding on him. He was trying to grasp the fact that Dean was even alive, and the fact that he was a god damn demon.

"Heya Sammy," Dean soothed, in a slight husky tone.

The younger Winchester sucked in a breath of air as he approached Dean, only to be pulled back by Castiel.

"Sam that isn't Dean," he whispered quietly.

"Oh yes it is, sweetie, but he's just...altered, new and improved. Dean version 2.0," a familiar British accent boomed in the room.

"Crowley," Castiel growled.

"Greetings Castiel, Sam," he replied, with a smug grin, as per usual.

"Crowley what have you done with Dean?" Sam spat, angrily, holding back the tears.

"It's a long story Moose. I'll let Dean explain, I have some errands to run. Toodles," the demon chimed, before taking his leave with the click of his fingers.

The room was eerily silent before Dean stood up from his chair and made his way down to Sam.

"Am I gettin' a hug or what man?" he chuckled.

Sam flinched as Dean stepped forward again, his chest rising and falling as he looked to Castiel for help.

"Cas?" Dean mused, holding his arms out.

The angel stepped forward as Dean approached him while Sam watched with a slight sign of hurt on his face. Castiel cautiously pulled Dean into an embrace, his eyes locking with Sam's as he gave a reassuring nod. As the pair pulled away, Castiel whipped out handcuffs with the Devil's trap carved in them as he locked on around Dean's wrist. His 'friend' stared in shock as he pulled at the metal, his eyes quickly switching to black.

"Cas what are you doing!" he yelled, voice echoing through the room.

"This is for your own good Dean. That is if you are Dean after all," Castiel replied harshly.

Dean still had a small layer of humanity in him and to hear Castiel say something like that cut him deep. He could put up a fight, but he was still getting used to his new form and wasn't exactly strong after the beating that Metatron had given him.

"It is me," he answered, his eyes narrowing, still displaying that deep black shade.

"We'll see," Castiel hissed, pulling the other handcuff as Dean stumbled forward. "For all we know you could just be possessed," he added.

The older Winchester went to argue but decided against it as he was dragged down the hallway and taken into the room where he and Sam had kept Crowley for a while. Castiel pushed Dean into the Devil's trap on the floor, putting the other handcuff on too, before stepping back.

"Cas, come on man, it's me, you-you gotta believe me," Dean pleaded.

"As of now, I don't, not yet," the angel replied.

"Cas," Dean whispered, his eyes changing again. "What happened to our trust?" he asked.

"Trust? Dean, you thought you could out run Metatron because of the Mark and you did it in the wrong way. You're lucky to even still be here, and I have yet to find out how," Castiel growled. "I have to speak with Sam, goodbye Dean," he continued, turning quickly as he left and closed the doors with a wave of his hand.

"Cas. CAS!" Dean roared, chest rising and falling, eyes black again from the rage. "Son of a bitch," he growled, turning around to face a blank wall.

He let out a small sigh as he paced around the circle, his eyes back to his usual green colour. He understood that he was a demon, Crowley told him everything, but he couldn't believe that Sam and Castiel stared at him like he was some kind of monster. Dean scoffed as he began to hum the intro to Metallica's 'Some Kind Of Monster' as he kept pacing around the trap. The Winchester had to find a way to convince both Sam and Castiel that he was himself and that he wasn't possessed by another demon. There had to be something...anything.

* * *

Castiel and Sam sat for hours, discussing ways of trying to figure out if Dean really wasn't possessed and that The Mark of Cain made him this way. Castiel went away for a while to run some errands as well as speak with some of the other angels. He arrived back at the bunker about two hours later to find the Impala gone and the bunker empty of Sam's presence.

The angel figured that he had gone on a case. Usually it would be himself and Sam which it had been for a few weeks before Castiel was required to come and interrogate Metatron. The younger Winchester could use some time alone. He remembers the first case they went on, it was easier for Castiel now that he had picked up on the way Sam and Dean would work. Although, the names were still a little rusty and blatantly obvious.

_"Holmes and Watson? Really Cas?" Sam questioned, as the angel handed him his badge._

"They seemed fitting, would you like me to change them?" the angel replied.

"No, there's no time, come on," Sam issued, tucking his badge into the pocket inside his jacket.

Castiel smiled fondly at the memory as he wandered down a long hallway and came to Dean's room. His eyes scoped the room before he made his way down to the room Dean was held in. The angel opened the door as he approached the shelves which acted as a door also. His eyes fell on Dean when he was in the room, noticing that his back was turned as he sat on the floor.

"You didn't sleep," Castiel commented.

"Don't need to," Dean snapped back.

"Dean," Castiel whispered.

"No don't 'Dean' me Cas!" he spat, turning his head around.

Th angel still flinched at the sight of Dean's blackened eyes, his heart sinking to his stomach. There was still a large amount of humanity in Castiel, he could feel emotions. When he was told of Dean's death he could feel himself breaking from the inside, trying his hardest not to let the cracks show on the outside.

"I failed you Dean," he spoke gruffly.

"You didn't," Dean answered.

"Dean, I broke the connection yet Metatron had killed you already. Now, you're alive and nothing makes sense," Castiel bragged, circling around Dean.

"Wow Cas, very heartfelt of you," he replied.

"It was my job to save you!" Castiel yelled suddenly.

Dean stared up at Castiel as the angel looked down at him. He could have sworn he saw a small tear welling in the corner of the angel's eye, but his inner demon was biting at him, telling him to ignore it.

"You tried Cas," he mused, looking down at his hands. "Now I suffer the consequences, but, at least I'm alive, right?" he continued, looking back up at Castiel.

"The new you isn't what I...what Sam wanted," Castiel answered, after faltering with his words a little.

Dean tilted his head to the side slightly, giving the angel one of his signature smirks.

"What's the matter angel boy, scared to admit something?" he hissed, his inner demon seeping out a little.

"Enough Dean, we will be leaving you here until Sam and I can figure out a way to keep you somewhat stable and stop you from having all these episodes," Castiel explained.

"Cas...they aren't episodes, this is who I am now. I have full control but right now I'm only learning the basics and it has a mind of its own," Dean replied.

Castiel didn't reply as he turned away from Dean, catching one more glimpse of black before the shelves closed in front of him. He hated seeing Dean like this, it wasn't Dean, not the witty and charming man he once knew. People would say the angel was quite smitten about Dean, and maybe he was, but Castiel couldn't let that come between them. It couldn't be like that, at least that's what he thought anyway. He let out a loud sigh before closing the other door and disappearing back down the hallway.

"Hi Cas," a low voice spoke.

Castiel flinched at the sound of Crowley's voice, as he turned around to face him.

"What do you want Crowley?" he barked, glaring at the demon.

"To explain," he replied.

"About Dean?" Castiel questioned.

"No about why in the bloody hell the Titanic sank," Crowley answered. "YES ABOUT DEAN!" he yelled.

Castiel stood silently, still not aware that Crowley was being sarcastic. He suspected he may have to brush up on the topic.

"God for an angel I thought you'd be smarter," Crowley mused.

"Do not, mock me," Castiel growled, through clenched teeth.

Crowley simply shrugged as he stepped closer to the angel.

"Cain died but the Mark remained, I'm not sure how but that's how it has come to be," he spoke.

"How does it explain about why Dean is a demon or possessed by one?" Castiel asked bitterly.

"Oh, he's not possessed, that is Dean, demon style. The Mark of Cain made him one. Cain was a demon. It's all a bit fuzzy for me, but be thankful," Crowley issued. "You've got your little boy toy back," he continued.

Castiel frowned at Crowley, his eyes ridden with anger. Not everyone knew about how he felt towards Dean, it seemed that Crowley was smart enough to get under the angel's skin and strike some nerves.

"I mean, you are going to tell him how you feel, right Castiel?" Crowley questioned.

"None of this is your business Crowley. You have to leave," the angel grumbled, turning way.

"You can't hide it forever," the demon quipped.

"I can try," Castiel retorted, before disappearing around the corner.

He went into the kitchen, eyeing the leftovers sitting on the counter. He wasn't too sure if Dean was hungry, maybe he was like him now, didn't feel the need to eat or had lost his appetite. Castiel gave up and walked back out to the main area, casting his eyes over the books.

_"Cas!"_

Castiel groaned as an image flashed in his head. It went by too quick for him to figure out what it was.

_Dean walked down the path towards him, Benny following close behind as Castiel stood from his crouched position.  
_  
The angel groaned again as he dropped to his knees. He had a clear idea that they were visions of purgatory.

_Dean let out a low chuckle as he approached Castiel and pulled him into a warming embrace._

"No," Castiel seethed, his sight blurring.

The image of Dean's smile flashed in his mind again as he grabbed onto the edge of the table. He had never experienced anything like this and it was worrying the angel.  
_  
"I'm not leaving here without you. You understand?" _

"Argh!" Castiel yelled, hunching over.

"Cas?" Dean's voice called down the hall.

The angel let out a muffled groan as another image flashed before him, causing him to lose grip on the table, an empty beer bottle following after, shattering to pieces on the floor.

"CAS!" Dean roared.

Castiel lay splayed on the floor as his eyelids drooped, voices circling around in his head. Soon, darkness overcame him and he was sent into an empty void, voices still echoing quietly.

* * *

Dean stayed by Castiel's side as he still lay passed out on the floor. After he heard the beer bottle smashing, he called the angel's name several times and after receiving no reply he began to panic. His new form made him stronger than he had ever felt, and somehow he broke through the chains. Now that he was with Castiel he was relaxed, his eyes staying green as he watched for any sign of movement. He never heard the bunker door opening, nor Sam's footsteps trudging down the steps. The younger Winchester's eyes widened as he saw the sight before him. He took note of the smashed bottle, lifeless Castiel and casual Dean sitting by him. Yet all he could register in his brain was that Dean had done it.

"Dean what did you do!" he yelled.

"Nothing Sammy I found him like this!" Dean exclaimed.

"Don't," Sam hissed.

"Don't what?" Dean questioned, slowly rising to his feet.

Sam couldn't help but notice that Dean seemed slightly taller and it freaked him out.

"Don't call me Sammy," he muttered.

"I always call you that," Dean whispered.

"Not when you're like this, I can't," Sam replied, shaking his head.

Dean closed his eyes before opening them again as they were back to the usual black, his face left expressionless.

"Maybe I should stay like this all the time if this is how it's going to be," he hissed.

"Maybe you should," Sam answered, before disappearing down to his room.

He didn't make an attempt to cuff Dean again, or ask him how he got out. It was as if Sam didn't care at all. It hurt the humanity that Dean still had inside him. There was no way he could prove to anyone that he was the same. If only his humanity would show a little more so that all this strain would go away.

Dean felt like he'd lost two of the most important people in his life, and now he was supposed to somehow deal with it. Perhaps he could get through to Castiel, just to see if the profound bond was still there. The older Winchester hadn't realised it himself until now, but he felt like there was something more between himself and the angel. Not that it would really go down well if that were the case.

"Man, what do I have to do to get some peace around here?" Dean groaned, leaning against the wall as he still kept his eyes fixed on Castiel.

He looked at his phone briefly which was still tucked in his pocket as he stared at his reflection. The first time he saw the dark eyes staring back at him he thought he was hallucinating. It wasn't until Crowley explained everything again and he found out that Cain was a demon, therefore having the Mark had made him one of them. Dean didn't want to be, but this was the consequence and he would have to go along with it. Nothing was going to be the same, yet Dean could try and regain some of what he had with his brother and Castiel. Just a little bit of something would put his mind at ease.

"Ugh," Castiel grunted, his body stirring.

"Cas?" Dean spoke softly, sliding over to Castiel's side, resting his hand on the angel's back.

"Dean," Castiel rasped.

"You okay man? I found you like this, did you pass out or something?" he asked.

The angel pulled himself up a little, still trying to regain some sense of touch, sight and hearing. His eyes followed the hand that was gripped on his arm now, his body going rigid when he saw who it was. His heart pounded erratically as he locked eyes with Dean, thankfully his eyes were not black.

"How did you get out?" he questioned.

"I heard the beer bottle smash and panicked, busted straight through the handcuffs and cracked the Devil's trap," Dean answered.

"You've been here the whole time?" Castiel replied.

"Yeah," Dean mumbled. "And Sam blamed me for what happened to you but he didn't cuff me back up or ask me how I got out," he added.

"Where is Sam?" the angel asked.

"In his room," Dean replied.

Castiel let out a heavy sigh as he pushed himself up into a sitting position, before getting to his feet, Dean following after. The angel wobbled slightly, his legs shaking. Dean's arms came out in time to catch him, his arm gripped tightly around him.

"Easy Cas," he hissed, using all his energy to keep his friend stable.

"This must be side effects to my replenished grace," Castiel drawled out.

"Come on, you can sleep in my bed, I think you need it," Dean replied.

"I have errands Dean, I can't," the angel huffed weakly.

"Well that's too bad," Dean grumbled, putting Castiel's arm around his shoulder and his arm around the angel's waist.

"Dean you don't have to do this," he muttered.

"Yes I do Cas, you're my friend," Dean answered confidently, dragging Castiel down the hallway.

Castiel didn't reply as they came to Dean's room and he was placed onto the bed, his body responding well to the comfort.

"Get some shut eye," Dean ordered, turning away.

"Dean," Castiel spoke hoarsely.

"Yeah Cas?" he replied.

"I believe you," the angel whispered, his eyelids dipping slightly.

Dean gave a small smile in return, before closing the door behind him as he made his way back down the hallway.

"I know what you're planning," a rough voice spoke, as Dean entered the room.

"Excuse me?" Dean answered, locking eyes with Sam, who was in the main area with his laptop now.

"You're trying to get on Cas' good side so you can screw us all over," Sam spat.

"Sam," Dean growled, his eyes turning black.

"I knew it," Sam scoffed. "Soon as you get angry you turn, how are you going to control all that if myself or Cas make you mad and you end up killing one of us?" he questioned.

"Sam I wouldn't do that to any of you," Dean replied.

"Whatever you say Dean, you're powerful than you have ever been. I'm not quite sure I believe you," Sam muttered. "Here's your keys," he added, shoving them across the table.

Dean stared at his younger brother, his eyes casting over the frown lines as he stepped forward and took the keys. Sam went back to looking at his laptop, ignoring Dean as if he was just a ghost. Well, he technically was in a sense, because he wasn't the old Dean. He turned away and made his way up the stairs to the door, grabbing his leather jacket on the way.

"Keep an eye on Cas for me," he spoke, as it echoed in the room.

"Yeah," Sam mumbled, as Dean slammed the door behind him.

Anger ripped through Dean as he staggered to the Impala, grasping his hand on the handle. His body trembled as a low growl grew in his throat, his eyes darkening again, showing a faint tinge of red. He took slow shallow breaths as his head hung low, his knuckles going white from the grip on the handle.

"Settle down Dean," he spoke roughly, loosening his grip on the Impala.

He lifted his head back up as the black sunk away and his lost and tired green eyes showed again. His eyes scanned over the Impala and it still looked the same, which made Dean happy. The back of the trunk was rid of the Devil's trap, allowing Dean to get into it and grab a gun, just for safety. He made his way over to the driver's side and got inside, turning the keys in the ignition as the car roared to life.

A small smirk grew on Dean's face as he gripped the steering wheel and reversed out from the bunker entrance. As he got out onto the clean stretch of road he slipped a cassette tape into the tape player. 'Can't Find My Way Home' by Blind Faith began playing and it seemed to strike a nerve with Dean. He didn't feel like he was at home, not when Sam couldn't even look at him and Castiel seemed to be mixed on whether he trusted Dean or not.

_"Come down off your throne and leave your body alone.  
Somebody must change.  
You are the reason I've been waiting so long.  
Somebody holds the key."_

Dean didn't want to live like this forever. What if Sam was right? What if he hurt one of them? He tried to shake the thought away as he pulled onto the road, stepping his foot down on the accelerator as the Impala roared down the road. Dean couldn't help but let out a cheerful yell as he relaxed back into the leather seat. He could get used to all of this, all the alone time. It seemed like he was going to be like that for a while until he could convince Sam to trust him again. For now, it looked like it was just Dean, with the help of Crowley and the comfort of his Impala.

"But I'm near the end and I just ain't got the time  
And I'm wasted and I can't find my way home.  
Come down on your own and leave your body alone.  
Somebody must change.  
You are the reason I've been waiting all these years.  
Somebody holds the key," Dean sang softly.

He looked into the side view mirror, feeling a tug on his heartstrings as he saw stray tears he had been keeping in, rolling down his cheeks. Humanity really did still live in him and it seemed that moments like this were the only ones that would make it show through, Dean wanted to be happy...but right now, he couldn't. He wanted to be Dean again.

_"But I can't find my way home."_

* * *

**A/N: It seems a little slow at the moment, but, I don't like jumping straight in and get to instant Destiel. I like to work it up. I hope you enjoy.**


End file.
